The Present is All Hyperbaric Medicine

They say say there’s no time like the present, because that’s why they call it the present, because it’s a gift.

Wait, let me try that again…every day is a gift; that’s why they call it the present? But then, the gifts of tomorrow actually belong to the future. Wait…is the future the gift-giver in this scenario? The future has the present, and it gifts it to us. That’ll do. But why are we getting a present? Is every day our birthday?

Phew…when I think deep thoughts, I sometimes just bend reality. I’ve been thinking a lot of them in the last half an hour, because I’m actually writing this LIVE from an oxygen chamber. Melbourne is just the forefront of technology nowadays, don’t you think? You can almost say they’re the future…and they’re giving us the gift of technology, now, in the present. I swear, this oxygen chamber is unlocking parts of my brain that I didn’t even know existed. So many great thoughts, flowing as swiftly and easily as the air in my nostrils. That’s a lot of air, I’ll have you know.

Funny thing is, I got this oxygen chamber experience as a present, which means I’m in the present, which was given to me as a present, experiencing something that was given to me…as a present. It’s like unwrapping a gift, only to find a gift underneath the wrapping paper, because the true gift was the act of receiving a gift. This is so many layers of profound; I actually cannot even. Who knew that oxygen, something that we breathe every day, can bring out such deep and meaningful thoughts? If I’d know it would be this good, I would’ve gotten into Melbourne’s hyperbaric chambers a lot sooner. Anyway…I’m going to take a nap. Probably about to dream some premium dreams, too. The ones where you can fly. Maybe even prophetic…we shall see!

-Bailey