Alright, I’ll admit that I live in a very…’metro’ area of Melbourne. It’s the type of place where you see signs for ‘Hipster Garage Sales’, everyone drinks top-class coffee made by baristas with dreadlocks and fine arts degrees, the supermarkets struggle to keep up with alternative food markets and organic is the flavour of the month, every month. I live above a vintage bookshop on the main street, and I know for a fact that in a single kilometre radius there are four vegan restaurants, six clothing shops that exclusively sell clothing made between 1965 and 1978 and…well, then there’s Kombucha Krisp, the café that specialises in organic tea and kale snacks.
It infects everything. Just the other day, I needed some plumbing work done since my boiler was failing. I’ll just call a friendly, local Melbourne based drain unblocking plumber! An injection of normalcy into my hipster existence! They’re known for being earthy folks, into going to the football, and eating things like hamburgers. Then the plumber arrived, his name was Kieran, his mustache was perfectly manicured and his overalls pressed to perfection. We spent his entire visit talking about the superiority of vinyl and swapping organic veal recipes.
Did you know that eating veal has the potential to increase your lifespan, but only if you buy organic? I know a great place down the main street…
Yeah, sorry. Got carried away. Anyway, yeah, that’s the lot of people living here. Even the plumbers are basically hipsters, even at the same time as being earthy, decent folk. I don’t mind so much because I got a couple of great organic veal recipes and of course vinyl is superior. Still…wow. They really do cater to their target demographic, even when the electricity and the plumbing pretty much works the same.
Still, it’s nice to know that can hire someone to take care of the water jet drain clearing. Melbourne plumbers are available 24 hours a day in case of an emergency, well some of them anyway. There’s a chance I’ll also get someone who speaks my language which will be a big help!