Category: Accommodation

Run a hotel, they said. It’ll be a blast, they said.

First day of retirement: excellent. Not sure I’ll ever get used to just…waking up. Not having to get up at 4am is lovely for anyone, but this morning I simply had breakfast by myself, no guests asking me anything. No kitchen crises. No sheets to fold or big fry-ups to make. Nobody lost their keys, or came back at 2am after a few too many drinks and caused a stir. It was just…me. So quiet, so calm.

I wonder if I’ll ever go to stay in a Lorne hotel? Maybe not for a few years; it would just be far too strange. I’ve been a guest at other places before, of course. I did take holidays sometimes, if not nearly as often as I would like. But still, going back to Lorne to stay in a hotel, after 50 years of working in one? That would just be a bizarre turn of events. I’ll leave it for a bit, see how I feel.

One thing being a hotel owner DOES do is make you ultra-judgmental of other places. I will say I tried to take off that hat and learn some things from the places where I stayed, but that wouldn’t have been nearly as fun. Judging just comes naturally when you’re in the same profession. If there weren’t enough mints provided, or I didn’t get a change of bed linen during the day, or if the breakfast wasn’t quite up to scratch, then I would let them know. Gently. It’s the only way people improve, and I’d want to hear if I was lacking in a certain area.

How is Lorne accommodation ever going to improve unless it gets proper feedback from outsiders? Not from me, though…not for a while. Which is a shame, because so many hotels could use my wise advice and many years of experience.

-Bruce

My friend just tagged me in an online post of a robot trying to put a box on a shelf. And yeah, it was supposed to be funny. The thing just can’t do it, and it eventually just sort of shoulder-tackles the shelf and everything collapses. Everyone in the comments was all like ‘ha, and people say AI is going to take over the planet!’. They have a point, but still, bipedal robots are just creepy. If that thing came at me , even if it was super clumsy, I wouldn’t be laughing.

I don’t like the idea of giving all the responsibility over the robots. Maybe I just work too hard…and it’s true. The boss is always telling me to go home so he can go home. Last year, for my birthday, my friends secretly arranged with my work for me to take time off, and we all went to Lorne, where beach apartments were waiting for us. And look, I’m not a soulless statue. I DID enjoy myself. Still, I did catch myself thinking about work, and how things were going, and if I was needed. And if you’re on the beach playing cricket and those thoughts keep invading your brain, you need to rewire yourself.

So then I’m thinking about a robot taking my job, which I guess could happen. They could take almost everyone’s jobs, until the only jobs left are actors and novelists, and maybe TV presenters. The economy still works just fine because the jobs are being done, so we basically just get an allowance from the government (are they robots as well?) and we get to do whatever we like. Everyone’s just booking luxury accommodation in Lorne, but…all the time. There’s no more work to be done. We just relax on the beach, pursue pet projects and visit friends A lot of coffee is drunk. Maybe we’ll all go to conference centres in Victoria where we learn to cope with our newfound freedom.

I couldn’t do it. Work is just too important to me. So…I guess I’ll find a new career as an novelist?

-Bryce