Review: Termite Troubles Makes a Case for Pest Control

There are a few shows on television at the moment that will raise the eyebrows of even the wildest folk. ‘Singe’, the game show where all the wacky challenges involve hydrochloric acid. ‘Agents of P.E.E.L.E.D.’, where a bunch of good-looking secret agents try to prevent a vegetable-obsessed cult from taking over the world. And then there’s ‘Keeping Up with the Car-Dash-Ians’, where an exclusive club for people called Ian is formed for the express purpose of racing cars, on foot.

Some weird, some shocking, some dull. But ‘Termite Troubles’ outdoes them all. You may have heard about the controversy, since many of Mornington’s termite inspection agents have spoken out in protest at the danger the show presents. It’s easy to see why, with such a disturbing premise: three families have to live in a large house that has been thoroughly invaded by termites. The termites get into everything, from the food to the sleeping quarters. The family that lasts the longest wins the grand prize of a holiday to Albajeria and a full-home renovation.

The imagery is actually pretty gross in the first episode, which had all the families electing to stay beyond the first three days. This home really is a poor example of termite prevention techniques, although it’s certainly a dire warning to everyone who might be wondering about that pile of wood near the house, or the fact that the home’s foundations are creaking. No doubt the requests for the Dandenong termite control professionals are going to go through the roof after the remaining episodes have aired, so ‘Termite Troubles’ might have a purpose. But after all the disgusting imagery and the sheer danger of living in a termite-infested home are shown to the world, why would you want to keep watching?

-R. Jameson


Seeking Non-Judgmental Pest Controllers

Sometimes I wish I lived in the UK. I’ve heard they have SOME big-ish spiders, but then that’s UK people talking and hey wouldn’t even know what they were talking about. You really can’t judge the sizes of spiders unless you’ve been to Australia and you’ve had to spend a night stuck to one side of a room because there’s a GINORMOUS one sitting in the corner, right above the door.

That, my friends, is true fear. Last time I complained about this on Visage-Tome, someone said to just look up the local Berwick pest control people and have them deal with it. There’s a sliver of logic to that, but still, this is Berwick. Not the most thriving metropolis, and many city people would call it the country. So I’d be calling pest control people from the country to deal with a problem that in the country is not a problem at all. I know! I’m supposed to be able to just look at that giant, hairy thing right in its multiple eyes and say “…whatever.” Or just pick it up by a leg and tos it out the back door, so it can have a fulfilling life far away from me.

Theoretically. In theory. The theory of the thing is that I would’ve grown up, able to do that sort of thing because I’m a tough country person. I wouldn’t even think of calling in pest control for anything smaller than a cow. I definitely am not supposed to be sitting in the corner of a room, trying to get advice from the internet because there’s a many-legged horror beast mocking me from the top of the doorframe. I swear that’s disdain in his eyes. His many, many eyes.

Tell you what. Dandenong isn’t quite so ‘country’. I’ll get in some Dandenong pest control. They’ll bail me out without me having to feel quite so inadequate.