The Function Of The Year, Probably

This year my company has been giving the honour of hosting the annual industry awards night. It is not that much of an honour, in fact, every year we try to avoid being chosen because of all the stress that comes with arranging it. My first task is to find a function venue accessible from Melbourne CBD in which to host the awards. It has to be pretty big, have an alcohol licence and not cost too much money. As well as finding the venue we also have to arrange the night’s proceedings including all the food and alcohol and design the awards segment. It may sounds like a big deal, but it is actually an exceptionally niche industry so it tends to be a fairly repetitive affair.

There are only five companies in all of Australia that produce video games, so the annual awards night is a bit sad where it should be fun. Anyway I think finding a suitable corporate function venue in Melbourne will be easy enough. I just really don’t want to write the opening speech, normally it is full of the same old gags and calling out the boss for his antics, I don’t think I can bring myself to follow the usual pattern.

I’m just going to stick with the boring and safe option of welcoming everyone, telling them they look wonderful and wishing them an enjoyable evening. I may get heckled for not making industry insider jokes but then at least I won’t have to live with myself for sinking to their level. At least I was in charge so I could find a nice corporate venue and order far too much food on the company card. I’m hoping it will be a fun night. We might even get a chance to do some ice hockey if I manage to book the skating arena as the venue for the event.